Owning Your Feelings

Susan Cwik

I am so tired of writing about being patient, trying to be happy, and staying positive. Today feels more like a day to turn up the music and just rage. It’s a day where I am freaking tired of putting on a happy face and pretending that all is just great. I don’t want to be nice, I want to yell at people and find out why they are nice to my face but never return. I want to call them out on their fake niceness. I’m tired of explaining to reps that I’m not ordering product because people just don’t freaking come in and I have absolutely no idea why. Yes, this is where I am at today.

I have to own these feelings or they will take over and I will not be able to move forward. I have to be okay with being angry and frustrated. Because the only way to get through it is to get it out. I just can’t be happy 24/7 when getting this store off the ground has been such a monumental, uphill battle. On these days I would rather be home sewing or baking something. At least then I would feel like I am accomplishing something. Instead I sit here wondering what to do next. How do I write something that inspires? How do I get past my anger and discover new ways to convince people to trust me? Or, for today, I just don’t give a crap.

So, no, today’s blog is not humorous or inspiring. It’s about owning my feelings, no matter what they are. It’s about getting those feelings out, in a constructive way, so I can get past them and move on. It’s about being real. It’s knowing that all the hyperbole about how to be happy is just that. I can do all the positive things every day and there are days where that just doesn’t matter and it’s okay. Everything is okay.

So, today, while I sit in my store by myself, again, I will turn up the music and process my frustration and rage. I will then try and get motivated to continue on my mission with the store. I will go home tonight and do those things that feed my soul. Tomorrow is another day and will, hopefully, be a better day.

Until next time,

                Have a Healthy Day!!

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