That Darn Rabbit Hole of Despair

Susan Cwik

You know that roller coaster I mentioned a few days ago? Well, today I’m on one of those downward spirals, right into the rabbit hole of despair. That feeling of being alone and that no one cares came in hard and fast this morning and I’m having a devil of a time putting it away.

When I came into the store, I started journaling right away. Just getting all the frustrations and rage on to a page is always immensely helpful for me. So, you may be asking yourself, “What could have caused this?” The answer: I’m going to have to make a decision soon on whether or not this venture will continue. As with most things related to the store so far, it will be all on me. I will have the financial pressure of preserving our household accounts but have not truly had the support to make the store a success. I will get all the pleasure of failure while others say, “It’s a shame, you did so much work.” Unfortunately, so far, I have had very little help trying to get the word out that the store is here.

Yes, this is my pity party and I’m okay with it, for now.

Now, that does not mean that I will stop working to achieve my goal. I will continue to try. I will continue to reach out to people and convince them that I can help them. I will pick myself up today, realize that I AM an amazing person who has a lot to offer. I will do my next video, I will catch up with blog writing, I will create an email campaign. These are what I am in control of. I will not waste my energy on those things that I cannot control.

I can control my communication with others. Since I first started writing this, I had a heart-to-heart with my, so far, silent partner and really communicated that I can no longer do all of this by myself and that if this venture is to work it will be from ‘we’ working together and not just ‘me’ floundering. It felt really good to communicate that and I really hope that it was heard ‘cause I need help.

With this conversation, I am slowly coming out of that rabbit hole of despair. I have posted today’s video, scheduled an email campaign, and keep writing. I am regaining control of my day. It hasn’t been easy but I am doing it! If you are struggling, today or any other day, remember you are not alone. We all face challenges that seem unsurmountable. Keep talking, keep journaling, just keep doing and you can make those changes that need to be made.

Until next time,

                Have a Healthy Day

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